Twinkie you say? lol

I am Twinkie.

I'm cream-filled super-sweet yellow-cake treat all wrapped in a small plastic wrapper. I may be sweet, but not as sweet as your mother. My pounds of sugar will keep you running for hours, let alone a sugar rush. I'm better than caffeine. I taste better too. The only thing that can compare to me is Megan Fox. She's cream filled with whatever you like. She gives kids a run for their money. But I know her. She bit me. Then she wrapped me again and put me in her purse. Twinkie's are good for the soul. I have my own soul. That cream, that's my soul. Sweeter than yours for sure. My soul can be compared to Jesus's. His is still better, but I'm close behind him. Jesus sits at the right hand of God, and I sit at the right side of Jesus's stomach. I'm tasty, sure. Jesus thinks so too. Optimus Prime likes me too. He told me that he likes Megan Fox. Weirdo. I mean...he's a giant robot. Imagine dating a truck. Gross. If someone were to drop me off a cliff, a group of 27 kids would jump after me. 27 dresses. 27 kids. The only problem I have is how I'm addictive. I'm more addictive than that new show on T.V. called Glee. I mean, that cheerleader is hot. REALLY HOT. I really hate Sue. The cheerleader's coach is a <censored> head. She's always trying to stop Glee club. Enough about them, let's focus on me. Hm...I have nothing else to say. Oh, I know...

I am Twinkie.